|THE THING That Wouldn't Die! I'm sure that's the title of a 1950's sci-fi or horror film, but we're talking about Barbra Streisand's astounding persistence in putting her vision of "Gypsy" onscreen. This project has been on and off and on and off for years. But when has that ever stopped Barbra? Never! Now, the project is back on the front burner for STX Entertainment. (Universal dropped its option last year.) Barbra will star as Mama Rose, Barry Levinson will direct, Joel Silver will co-produce (with help from Barbra) and Richard LaGravenese will co-write the script (with help from Barbra.) "Darlings" we can already hear Barbra cooing, "don't get so verklempt, I just want to help! Here, have an egg roll. Oh, and by the way, Barry, I have some ideas on how to direct me — another egg roll, a bagel? You look a little tired."|
|Some sources still say it's Lady Gaga to play Louise, who becomes the ecdysiast deluxe Gypsy Rose Lee and John Travolta as the long-suffering Herbie. |
Now that it seems Streisand will allow herself to be directed by Levinson (unless the lobotomy doesn't take) I think Gaga's voice — her major talent — will be wasted in the role of Louise. Taylor Swift, slimmer and younger, might make a more convincing Gypsy. But this is still talk, talk, talk. Many a slip twixt the lip and the G-string. But, better this than talking politics, which becomes more grisly every day and now on both sides.
|Oh, as for the three other big roles in "Gypsy" — the strippers — I have my fantasy. Madonna as Tessie Tura ("I myself, of course was a ballerina. But take it from me, all you need to have is no talent. What you need is a gimmick!) ... Mariah Carey as Miss Electra ("I'm electrifying and I ain't even tryin', I never have to sweat to get paid!") and Janet Jackson as Miss Mazeppa ("You can pull all the stops out, till they call the cops out, grind your behind till you're banned!")|
|Come on, don't tell me that wouldn't put the masses in seats in theaters all over the world. |
Anyway, good luck Miss Streisand. Let's face it, there's a lot of fascinating, epic psychology behind your relentless desire to belt out: For me, for me, For MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
|P.S. Let me state again, for the record — any production of "Gypsy" is worthy. This Jule Styne/Stephen Sondheim/Arthur Laurents classic defies all laws of casting. It is unbreakable. But I remain consistent in feeling the 1962 movie version with Rosalind Russell and Natalie Woodwas/is severely underrated. Russell was great; Wood, exquisite.|
But ... let's see what the 21st century — and Streisand — can do with this magnificent material. And, let's get started soon,okay?