The Aretha / Barbra birthday saga continues....just a few days after Barbra's birthday bash, Aretha paid Barbra a visit....
Barbra Streisand: Aretha, what are you doing here?
Aretha Franklin: I came to thank you for having me at your birthday party.
BS: That's funny, I don't remember seeing you. In a sea of young stars, I think I would've spotted you. I thought you didn't make it.
AF: Oh, I made it alright. But you didn't see me because you had me sitting at the table way in the back near the kitchen. I was so close to the oven, I could have broiled my own fish.
BS: Ahhh...aside from that, did you like the way I posed with every guest who was at least 20 years younger than me? Makes me appear younger, hipper and more youthful!
AF: Give it up Barbra - you ain't playin' Mama Rose. That ship has sailed and sunk.
BS: There must be a good role for me to play at 75. I have at least one more good project in me - I know I do.
AF: That's why I'm here today. I have a great movie project for the two of us!
BS: Huh? A movie project? For the two of us? I don't like where this is going...
AF: Just listen - I've been watching the TV show on FX..."FEUD"? About the feud between Bette Davis and Joan Crawford? And I've been thinking - what if they do "FEUD: The Musical", and it will star the two of us!
BS: But we're too young to tell our story about our feud, though I like the idea....Besides, we never really did feud. We just had differences of opinions. So what's the feud story?
AF: So we don't tell OUR story, we tell another....You will play Carol Channing, and I'll play Pearl Bailey! And we come together when we do that special together - the one they did in 1969. They were friends, because they had that one common enemy which they had a feud with - YOU! Even though they played 'Dolly' on stage, they were mad as Hell with you because you won the role for the movie, even though you were way too young. Come to think of it, you always had this issue with playing age- appropriate characters, don't you?
BS: Hmmmm - this could work. I'm liking this a lot. I can finally tell MY side of the story of how it all went down. But we'll have to have someone play Ethel Merman - she was a 'Dolly' onstage, too. And I think she was on my side...I can't remember. Who can play Merman?
AF: Already thought of it - Bette Midler!
BS: No, too close to home. I got it - that Lupone person! And who will play Liz Taylor? You know she was mentioned for the movie, too - and I beat her out of that one!
AF: I got it! Catherine Zeta Jones. She's the one they call now when Streep is not around. She can play Taylor.
BS: And most importantly, who will play me? We need someone young, talented, beautiful, and charming who plays Dolly with a thick Jewish accent. Someone spectacular!
AF: I'm thinking that GLEE girl - Leah Michelle.
BS: You're thinking wrong...I'm thinking Lady Gaga! And I xan probably give Dustin Hoffman a call to play Walter Matthau!
AF: Didn't you feud with Matthau, too?
BS: Never mind! Back to the movie ! Ready? We'll call it "FEUD 2: Barbra vs. Carol, Pearl and Walter"....starring Barbra Streisand, directed by Barbra Streisand, executive produced by Barbra Streisand, screenplay by Barbra Streisand, and original soundtrack by Barbra Streisand. What do you think?
AF: I think a new feud is about to erupt right here in this room!